the tree

It's curious both my ex and I are doing things now we didn't seem to have the energy for when we were together. He got his motorcycle fixed. I'm decorating for Christmas this year, at least somewhat. It would be easy and natural to be resentful, but the sad truth was our relationship sapped enthusiasm out of things we enjoyed. I was determined this season to have a tree. The last few years, he and I could not get the tree thing going. Either we didn't do it, or we couldn't finish it. I don't know why putting up a Christmas tree turned into scaling a mountain, but there's not much point in knowing the answer to that anymore. A fake tree was the most attractive option. I could foresee my son sticking his hands in the water, and needles all over the ground. (I hardly vacuum as it is. In fact, I spot vacuumed today and you'd think I spilled a jar of popcorn kernels the way it crackled and buzzed.) The cubic-zirconium-level fakes were many times out of my price range. I considered a small fiber optic fake I saw in an ad, but wow, what a pathetic attempt at a tree. Hey, unless you can pass for realistic, don't bother trying. To Wal-Mart I went where they had a big selection that wasn't half bad and at reasonable prices. A white tree caught my fancy. It wasn't trying to look real...it was all about fun. Unconventional. Youthful. Liberating. Mom and I toured the store while I thought about it. There was no contest, the white tree was the winner. Pre-lit. $30. Schweet deal. We took it home, carved out a spot, and put it together. It assembled like a three layer cake and looked like something you'd want to eat. We plugged it in, and dang, it's awesome! The setting in the fluorescent lit store was in total contrast to my warm, dim living room. The candy colored lights make the tree glow from the inside out. Yum! Days later, Shawn came over and helped me decorate the tree. This was a tricky operation. Neither of us had any experience working with a white tree, fake or otherwise. Mom also bought me silver, holographic garland. I imagined it would reflect sparkles everywhere and add to the glow, but I was wrong. The garland was a dark band, blobbing along the branches. We decided to snug it up to the "trunk" to hide the metal pole and the cabling for the lights. Then, the decorations. The fragile ornaments went higher and the kid-friendly ones went lower. The darker ornaments stand out crisp and defined in the day time, but at night take on the dark blob look. The light and white ornaments are camouflaged in the day and sparkle nice at night. Either way, it's lovely. The first task on my son's morning agenda is to have me turn the tree on. Yesterday, he didn't ask and I sat him down with his juice and waffle to watch Elmo. I left to get dressed and when I came back, he was sitting in the same spot, but the tree was on. Something tells me the elves didn't do it... I have to agree. There is something special about having the tree on that leaves me calm. It was worth the effort for the peace it gives me and memories I made.